her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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