me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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