wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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