zippers are such a cool invention
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
