What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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I need you to use more vowels.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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