i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
