on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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