that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize