Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
