NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
