garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
