I accidentally had phone sex last night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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