My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
