i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
