So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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