I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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