for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
