No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
