I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
