when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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