Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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