All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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