i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
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nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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