Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
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I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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