wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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