I heard we made out
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
