I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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