Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
