I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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