Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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