If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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