I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
