And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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