we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
