I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
