it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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