why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
