its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
