but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
