They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
