A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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