so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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