What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
