Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  8:17pm: So, How was fun day?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success

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  (845) 8:17pm: So, How was fun day? (201) 1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success http://tfl.nu/xkzo
  Replies (11) Good night (1605) Bad night (459)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.

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  (512): I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up. http://tfl.nu/4fq7
  Replies (14) Good night (699) Bad night (2265)
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  (408): View more from California

  booty call

  (925): View more from California

  i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.

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  (408): booty call (925): i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy. http://tfl.nu/xuna
  Replies (60) Good night (1173) Bad night (5904)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

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  (905): Cure to hiccups..road head..high five http://tfl.nu/bsv1
  Replies (28) Good night (4818) Bad night (568)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.

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  (814): Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today. http://tfl.nu/lhgy
  Replies (8) Good night (4552) Bad night (847)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts

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  (508): Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts http://tfl.nu/tjd5
  Replies (15) Good night (3838) Bad night (1072)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me

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  (970): I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me http://tfl.nu/ieav
  Replies (10) Good night (4961) Bad night (828)
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  (818): View more from California

  I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.

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  (818): I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/bcax
  Replies (8) Good night (2737) Bad night (928)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.

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  (412): we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better. http://tfl.nu/vdj0
  Replies (8) Good night (2375) Bad night (753)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.

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  (315): The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate. http://tfl.nu/isdg
  Replies (5) Good night (1707) Bad night (487)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.

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  (501): Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend. http://tfl.nu/du0y
  Replies (7) Good night (3126) Bad night (559)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.

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  (214): I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be. http://tfl.nu/287t
  Replies (4) Good night (1405) Bad night (498)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He was uncircumcised

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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  (480): He was uncircumcised (480): It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis http://tfl.nu/js6u
  Replies (15) Good night (1142) Bad night (1403)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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  (407): Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck. http://tfl.nu/ldxl
  Replies (14) Good night (467) Bad night (1791)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$

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  (304): I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$ http://tfl.nu/l4gn
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (181)

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