Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.