Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.

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(828): I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse. http://tfl.nu/gxwi

Replies (14) Good night (4439) Bad night (1055)
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(269): View more from Michigan

I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.

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(269): I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life. http://tfl.nu/x5qx

Replies (23) Good night (3520) Bad night (3487)
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(210): View more from Texas

drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

(1-210): View more from Texas

I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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(210): drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend (1-210): I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/558s

Replies (26) Good night (2290) Bad night (5385)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.

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(250): My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part. http://tfl.nu/8pmc

Replies (11) Good night (1278) Bad night (3480)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.

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(321): We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck. http://tfl.nu/5f0o

Replies (24) Good night (10124) Bad night (2237)
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(954): View more from Florida

his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.

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(954): his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here. http://tfl.nu/eop3

Replies (3) Good night (1106) Bad night (1550)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.

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(303): Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron. http://tfl.nu/c12y

Replies (4) Good night (1723) Bad night (1600)
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(607): View more from New York

Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.

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(607): Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country. http://tfl.nu/h8yr

Replies (10) Good night (2256) Bad night (674)
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(805): View more from California

You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way

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(805): You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way http://tfl.nu/xnwc

Replies (6) Good night (1975) Bad night (779)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad

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(808): i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad http://tfl.nu/nkw9

Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (1562)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping

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(717): my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping http://tfl.nu/xy2e

Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (543)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent

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(937): Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent http://tfl.nu/u4ks

Replies (2) Good night (915) Bad night (454)
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(425): View more from Washington

I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now

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(425): I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now http://tfl.nu/j4rg

Replies (4) Good night (979) Bad night (351)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

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(720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6

Replies (8) Good night (1445) Bad night (392)
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(231): View more from Michigan

He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.

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(231): He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off. http://tfl.nu/bbw4

Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (323)

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