Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating

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  (949): either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating http://tfl.nu/qtb8
  Replies (6) Good night (3033) Bad night (609)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.

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  (651): i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen. http://tfl.nu/ur6p
  Replies (28) Good night (8775) Bad night (735)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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  (310): i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito. http://tfl.nu/9mvh
  Replies (15) Good night (4619) Bad night (1086)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.

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  (513): Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud. http://tfl.nu/fmdm
  Replies (96) Good night (13471) Bad night (2419)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am

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  (703): She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am http://tfl.nu/kql6
  Replies (10) Good night (979) Bad night (4063)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze

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  (912): Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze http://tfl.nu/0gjr
  Replies (13) Good night (4571) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...

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  (310): Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair... http://tfl.nu/dvxl
  Replies (4) Good night (2266) Bad night (730)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up

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  (570): Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up http://tfl.nu/9j2f
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own

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  (612): I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own http://tfl.nu/8p1h
  Replies (3) Good night (1273) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes

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  (609): The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes http://tfl.nu/oauk
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (521)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

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  (480): I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight. http://tfl.nu/cc82
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (859)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.

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  (773): I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever. http://tfl.nu/ci2r
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm

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  (647): Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm http://tfl.nu/f115
  Replies (5) Good night (523) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children

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  (937): somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children http://tfl.nu/47si
  Replies (4) Good night (558) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

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  (212): Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate. http://tfl.nu/w2uc
  Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (546)

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