I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
