okay pat passed out under dana's car
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
