Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
