Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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