I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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