Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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