Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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