Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
