My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
