Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
