KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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