That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
did you just send me my own nude
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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