jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize