Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
