and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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