Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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