you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
