Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
