He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
