I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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