I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
