I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
