im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
