I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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